Talking with a parent about the move

Last reviewed: August 27, 2026

This page is for adult children on Colorado’s Western Slope who need to start a hard conversation about more help, or about a possible move. It is educational only. It is not medical advice, legal advice, or a recommendation of any home.

This directory is a separate business from High Desert Assisted Living in Clifton, Colorado. Jason and Laura Cheney operate both; the directory is not an official state list and is not a CDPHE, HCPF, or Medicare rating tool. Nothing on this page is a recommendation of that home.

This is not a script pack. The only sample sentences below are ones the National Institute on Aging already printed. After you talk, you still have to check any Colorado home yourself.

The short version

Start before a crisis. Official federal pages treat this as planning, not a one-meeting decision to “place” someone.

Have several small talks. Do not exclude the person. Raise a specific worry without scolding.

Medicare does not pay assisted-living rent, room, board, or everyday custodial help.

After the talk: look the home up on CDPHE Find and Compare, ask for the written resident agreement, ask in writing whether the home is an ACF if Medicaid may matter, and tour more than once.

Start before a crisis

The National Institute on Aging says deciding whether and when an older adult should move from home is often “difficult and emotional.” The best time to think about long-term care is before you need it. Planning gives the family time to learn what exists nearby and what it costs, and it lets the older person decide while they are still able.

NIA also says a family conversation about care “will be most productive when there is not an emergency.”

The Alzheimer’s Association says to have the conversation as soon as possible, and that the first talk may not work. Have more than one. Keep them small.

If thinking or memory is already changing, both NIA and the Alzheimer’s Association say start early. As dementia progresses, it gets harder for the person to consider future plans.

This page does not publish a “10 signs it’s time to move” list. NIA does not publish one. Needing extra support can mean groceries, a doctor visit, help at home, or — later — a housing talk. No single change means a parent must move.

NIA does say it is not always clear whether someone needs help, and the best way to know is to ask them directly. Things families often notice first: meals and a safe kitchen, bathing and clean clothes, medications, the house getting harder to keep, falls, isolation, confusion, or a big change in weight. Caregiver strain is part of this too. NIA tells caregivers not to wait until they are completely overwhelmed.

If someone says they feel hopeless or have no reason to live, get help right away. Call or text 988.

How to start

Learn the options first, then talk together. NIA’s goal is a plan that works for everyone, especially the older person. Try to honor their wishes as far as you can.

You can raise a worry one-on-one so the person does not feel piled on. A later family meeting or conference call — with the older person there — is how NIA talks about walking through housing options. Use your judgment.

An official NIA example (not a directory script). From Does an Older Adult in Your Life Need Help?:

“Mom, it looks like you don’t have much food in the house. Are you having trouble getting to the store?”

Then NIA says try to fulfill the person’s wishes to the extent possible, and to include practical help. Their follow-up example: if the person wants to keep cooking at home, you could ask whether they would like groceries delivered.

That is a labeled official example of raising a specific worry without sounding critical. It is not a speech to read at the kitchen table, and this page does not invent a “say this / don’t say that” pack.

Listen. Give them time. Do not take over the decision. NIA says housing choices depend on health, daily activities, money, and personal preferences.

If you are worried about health, NIA suggests a visit to a health-care provider. You can offer to make the appointment, give a ride, or go along.

If dementia is part of the picture

Involve the person as much as possible. The Alzheimer’s Association says: do not exclude them from conversations; speak directly to them; ask what they are still comfortable doing. Early planning lets them share their wishes.

Legal papers (a will, a power of attorney, health-care instructions) have to be signed while the person can still understand what they are signing. Laws vary by state. This page is not Colorado legal advice. Talk with a Colorado lawyer, or ask the Area Agency on Aging how to reach Colorado Legal Services.

Do not argue facts. The Alzheimer’s Association says: if the person says something you do not agree with, let it be. Listen for the meaning. NIA says do not interrupt or argue, do not talk about the person as if they are not there, and do not use a baby voice.

If thinking has already changed, keep the talk short and in a quiet room. Ask one thing at a time. Give plenty of time to answer.

The Alzheimer’s Association asks families facing dementia to sit with questions like these (these are their questions, not a countdown):

Is the person becoming unsafe at home?
Is their health, or the caregiver’s health, at risk?
Are the care needs beyond what you can physically do?
Are you becoming a stressed, irritable, impatient caregiver?
Are you neglecting work, family, and yourself?
Would the structure and social contact of a residence help?

Guilt is common. NIA says many caregivers reach this point, and feelings of loss, sadness, guilt, or even relief are okay.

Alzheimer’s Association 24/7 Helpline: 800-272-3900
NIA ADEAR Center: 800-438-4380

Money, without a sales pitch

Most people pay for assisted living themselves. NIA says professional care in assisted living is almost always paid out of pocket. Medicare.gov says Medicare does not pay for long-term care. That includes help in an assisted living facility. Medigap usually does not pay for it either.

A short Medicare skilled-nursing stay after a hospital admission is a different building and different rules. It is not an assisted-living rent check.

Health First Colorado (Medicaid) may pay services only if the home is also an Alternative Care Facility (ACF) and the person qualifies. The resident still pays room and board. This page does not print income or resource limits. Ask the Case Management Agency and see our page on how people pay.

Bring the money talk in early enough that the parent can still understand it and say what they want. Handle any later transfer of bills with respect. This directory does not quote prices.

After you talk

When someone is willing to look:

Confirm the license. Search CDPHE Find and Compare. Read surveys and occurrence reports from about the last three years. Do not use Medicare Care Compare to shop assisted living. Those sites only have Medicare facilities.
Ask for the written resident agreement before anyone signs. Colorado rules expect a list of what is included in the rate and every optional service with a price. No invented numbers on this page.
If Medicaid may be needed now or later, ask in writing: “Are you currently HCPF-certified as an Alternative Care Facility?” Not every licensed home is an ACF.
Tour more than once. The Alzheimer’s Association: visit several communities; one visit by appointment and one or two unannounced; go at different times, including a meal; ask for the latest inspection report.

This directory does not choose a home for you.

Who to call on the Western Slope

Phones below were checked on official pages on August 27, 2026. Call to confirm.

Hilltop ADRC — free options counseling: what kinds of help exist, and how people pay.
970-248-2746, option 1

Hilltop also operates senior housing. The ADRC is the counseling program, not a referral to Hilltop homes.

Area Agency on Aging of Northwest Colorado — Heather Jones, 970-248-2717.
That is the same number the state ombudsman directory lists for Region 11 intake. Ask which program you have reached.

Long-term care ombudsman — Region 11 — free, confidential advocate for someone already in a licensed assisted living home or nursing home, and for families worried about residents.
The state directory lists 970-248-2717. The Mesa County AAA page lists 970-683-2676. Call both if needed and ask which line is current.
State office: 303-862-3524

Mesa County RSVP SHIP — free Medicare counseling. Does not sell plans.
970-243-9839 ext. 1

Eldercare Locator — 800-677-1116

If the person lives in Delta, Gunnison, Hinsdale, Montrose, Ouray, or San Miguel, use Region 10 (Region 10 League in Montrose; Region 10 ombudsman 970-765-3131). Do not treat Mesa Hilltop or Mesa AAA as their local office.

Official pages this guide is based on

This page does not recommend, rank, or place anyone. Check the CDPHE license yourself.